Boys Don’t Cry



You make a powerful statement, Davy, even an indictment of all humanity.

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Loved this , great take !

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Powerful image, locked in a story well told.

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Your image captures the antipathy of this oftentimes taboo subject quite nicely, Davy. I like your work. Very much so. 🙂

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This is marvelous, Davy – such descriptive language. But I’m going to have to look up “Poems to Make Grown Men Cry”.

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Very powerful words, Davy–and now, I too need to look up the book you referenced. (Coincidentally, the movie “Boys Don’t Cry” is on as I read your post.) “In the constant glare of human barbarity” strikes me as part of the reason some of us–men and women–don’t cry much, after a point. I don’t think that we become inured to the relentless pain around us, but it’s more like a heavy rock in our hearts; we feel the weight, but as your poem says, it comes out as “sand and sighs”–the spigot of tears requires more priming now, for the wet to wash over us. It takes a great deal for me to cry these days–and then I’m always surprised when only 6 tears come out. Very strange.

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What an interesting title and post! Sounds like that book wasn’t very effective on you???

Read an interesting book that dealt with this topic from an interesting viewpoint – “Why Men Don’t Get Enough Sex and Women Don’t Get Enough Love”. On the question of crying for boys the question is “if women do most of the child rearing/teaching during the formative years for boys why is it that boys come away with “boys don’t cry” but girls don’t? Spoiler alert – Women train boys that “boys don’t cry”. Because women really love the Rambo type of guy even though they proclaim they like the “Alan Alda” type. Very interesting book. Another great topic!!!

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    Thanks for this Charles. This poem was probably 50 years of life crammed into a few lines. I think some of the things you are exposed to as a police officer and what we are shown by the media can desensitize you in some ways. But as you say social stereotypes and cultures can also play a big part. I am reading, The Descent of Man, by Grayson Perry that looks at this in a lot more detail.

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    It’s interesting because I raised my sons to be sensitive and nurturing. Their dads weren’t involved with them much at all. For many years, I was single with two sons and a daughter. But at times, my sons felt too soft. I think everything is working out for them, now, though. And I added a third son to the mix.

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      It is true Laura, nurture has a huge impact and bearing on this subject. I am reading an excellent book by Grayson Perry, called the Descent of Man which looks at masculinity in the 21st Century and looks in detail at the stereotypes for men in their upbringing. Thanks again for taking time out to comment 🙂

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Davy, if you don’t stop suggesting interesting books for me to read, I’m going to be broke!:) I’m currently reading the Davies’ book on economics you suggested. And I just took a look at Perry’s book, and it sounds like just the thing I’m interested in these days. I spend a lot of time thinking about gender roles, ironically, while I’m doing dishes. Ultimately, we need to be authentic, which I think requires relearning at times. Then, find a partner or spouse that fits with that. Some people opt to remain alone, and that’s OK too. Fascinating topic. I would enjoy meeting and discussing this at a coffee shop with your wonderful family of followers. It’s too bad we all live so far apart.

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    Lol Laura, buying books keeps me broke and I am just trying to share the pain. When I finish the book there are a number of ideas floating in my head around gender and poetry so maybe that could kick start the conversation. Maybe I should rebrand the blog as a poetry café and then we can all pop in from anywhere (although I think that’s happening) 🙂

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