The World’s Gone Conkers

Poetic Beats

Welcome to this week’s edition of Poetic Beats with Howard Bond and Davy D, recorded on the 9th of October 2017 on Red Kite Radio.

In this show we look at the sport of conkers and give a potted history of the once favourite schoolyard activity. Davy D relives, in poetic form, the time he defeated a Goliath and became the school conker king. We also bring a recent and revealing update on the recent world conker championships that took place on the 8th of October 2017 in the UK.

For those of you who can’t access the recording, the text version of the Poem, The Conkerer, used in this programme is added after the sound bar.

To hear the recording, please press the arrow on the left of the sound bar below.


The Conkerer

It was the greatest day the school had seen
Since Mrs Bleasdale met the Queen.
A schoolyard filled with every form
Anticipating the coming storm.

In the distance stood Basher White,
His twenty-fiver bathed in light,
Staring at me, his next conquest,
Wearing oversize shoes and a white string vest.

But I knew Basher was not all there,
There was stacks of space beneath his hair.
For days I prepared for what was coming,
Baking my conker in the kitchen oven,
And with some varnish made it tough.
Whatever Basher had would never be enough.

As a Roman God he strode towards me,
His squinting eyes lined me up,
I felt the force of his twenty- fiver,
From the cup of doom, I was about to sup.

Fate she smiled on me that day.
Basher’s shot missing by a country mile.
In return I hit the bulls-eye,
From his face removed his snarl.

Like the FA cup I was hoisted high,
Paraded around every class in school.
Basher never did discover my secret,
The day I turned him from bully to fool.


Ooh, it’s a delight to have this poem heard, D! Wow. I am not familiar with conkers but it sounds a lot of fun. 😀

Liked by 1 person

Nice one Davy, great poem, spot on for the subject + the facts were the icing.

Liked by 1 person

How wonderful, as always, to hear your voice. Kids don’t seem to play outside games much anymore. I get the safety concerns with conkers, but I spent so much time outside as a girl, mostly playing jump-rope and hide-and-go-seek. I love the idea of putting the bully in his place. This evokes so many fall memories of being outside in the cool, crisp air of autumn. Lovely poem, Davy!

Liked by 1 person

I love hearing you read your wonderful poem, Davy! 🙂 Such a delight! Yay for The Conkerer! 🙂

Your poem brought back memories for me…of my time on the schoolyard and playground. And you taught me about conker! 🙂 Thank you!

We played all kinds of ball games (like baseball, soccer), jump rope, hopscotch, tag, etc., at school and at home. We spent a lot of time outdoors. 🙂

Always good to make a bully into a fool…then I always hope the bully will become repentant and become a friend. 🙂

Carolyn 🙂

Liked by 2 people

Always lovely to hear you in this program..


The link up is much appreciated. Thank you and have a good weekend.


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