Humour

Mad Dogs and Englishmen #1

IMG_0361Photo image: Davy D

“Hey dog.”
“Hey officer.”
“Read the headlines?”
“Nope I’m a dog.”
“Savage Dog Attack Shock – Any ideas?”
“Not me, I have an alibi.”
“Bark it Bad Breath.”
“I was at home
chewing some bone
with Miss Daisy.”
“You used that last time.”
“Walked didn’t I.
Jury saw right through you.”
“Today’s gonna be different.”
“What you got up your sleeve?”
“Nothing, but I got a pocket full of bacon chews.
You’re coming down the station.”
“Okay, but easy with the bracelets.”

© Davy D 2017

Poets and Death

Poets and Death

The Last Chocolate

The Last Chocolate

Image Credit: Canva.com

darling

i regret to inform you
the last chocolate
never survived

it got caught
in a battle
between an angel
and a demon

the angel put up
a good fight
but succumbed
to forces darker
than the
mouth-watering praline

sorry

© Davy D 2017

Lists

Lists

Image Credit: Freeimages.com

Lists

keep

us

on

our

toes

cognitive

workouts

for

golden

age

woes

© Davy D 2017

Paper Boys

Paper Boys

Image Credit: Freeimages.com

I’m in shock. I witnessed something today rocking me to the core. At 6.30am, whilst walking, I saw a boy, aged about 14, running from the front garden of a house and jump into an expensive BMW motor car, being driven by a woman old enough to be his mother. At first I thought I had stumbled upon a misdemeanour. I continued to observe and saw the woman lean across, stroke the boy’s hair, and place a newspaper on his lap. The car drove about 20 feet forward, stopped, and the boy ran out, posting the newspaper through the next door along from the house where I originally saw him. This performance continued for each of the 12 houses in the street. Are paper boys not supposed to ride rickety bikes, taunt grumpy old men and be chased by dogs? I still bear the scar on my buttock where Old Wilson’s Alsatian nabbed me at the 34th attempt. And I thought the Snowflake Generation were figments of the imagination.

Precious to the touch
Basildon Bond or Tracing
A Mother’s treasure

Limericks

Limericks

True Faith

True Faith

Without Rhyme or Reason

without-rhyme-or-reason

Today, I failed to write a poem.
One a day had kept me going,
Until the silence in my head
Expanded and my brain went dead,
And left me feeling quite frustrated,
Forlorn, aghast, demotivated,
Waiting for the magic time
When words appear that seem to rhyme,
And give a taste of an emotion,
Or a sound, of an unsaid notion.
Being a poet is just not funny.
I’m only in it…….. for the money.

© Davy D 2017

Poetry For Beginners

Poetry For Beginners.jpg

Is Poetry a Crime?

img_0343
Photo Image: Davy D

A strange question to start this week’s poetic pondering, but please bear with me on this one.

The question was posed when I visited a bookshop in my local town a few days ago and decided to have a look in the poetry section. After a long while searching I eventually found a scant collection of poetry books and,to my horror, discovered they were listed under the category CRIME (the photo at the head of this post is evidence of the said misdemeanour).

Now I know some of my poetry offerings have bordered on criminal, but to take things to this level is an attack on poetic liberties. When did poetry become a crime?

I tracked down the manager of the store and gave him an opportunity to explain this apparent change in legislation. Apart from a shrug of his shoulders and a few ineligible grunts he was unable to shed any light on the matter.

When I returned home I went through my police service archives and at no point did I ever arrest anyone for the offence of poetry, or remember being called to give evidence in a case of poetic injustice. A search on the internet did provide reference to a book by Michael Connelly called, The Poet, where a serial killer leaves excerpts of Edgar Allan Poe poems at the scenes of his murders, but that’s just fiction.

So please poets, keep a watchful eye when going about your daily poetry business. It seems there may be something sinister afoot.

If you see or hear about any similar attempts to criminalise poetry, please let me know.